Old Spice
by LiveEatBreatheRepeat
Summary: YouTube is the birth place of many Internet memes...Today, we look upon the amazing Old Spice commercial...Rated T just in case.
1. Prussian Spice

I've just been in a good mood recently. Shocker.

You lucky bastards get to see the result of said happiness and over-watching a certain commercial.

I own nothing.

* * *

><p>What's up, everyone!<p>

Look at your dick. Back to mine. Back to yours. Now back to to mine!

Sadly, yours is much smaller than my five meters. But if you stopped playing that sissy thing called a piano and started being awesome,it could look like mine! Look back down, where are you? You're sitting in my bedroom, with the man you wish had a bigger dick like mine! Back at mine, what is it? It's standing straight up at you, babe. Look again, my five meters are going crazy for you!

Anything's possible when you're awesome like me. I'm on a Canadian.

Kesesesesese~

* * *

><p>*hides in shame forvere*<p>

The sad thing is I plan to make more of these in the future...


	2. French Spice

By popular audiance demand, I introduce to you the second installment of Hetalia Old Spice.

Enjoy your little hearts our as you realize that I own nothing.

* * *

><p>Bon jour, mon ami~<p>

Look at your food. Back to mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine.

Sadly, your food is not mine. But if you stopped letting England cook your every meal and started visiting me more, it could taste like mine! Look back down, where are you? You standing on a beautiful beach in France, with the man your man could cook like. Back at mine, what is it? It's a delicious, steaming hot dish of all the French foods you adore. Look again, the food has changed into a fine wine, aged to perfection.

Anything is possible when you visit the great country of France. I'm on an Englishman.

Oh hon hon hon hon hon hon~

* * *

><p>...I really don't have a life if I'm still making these.<p> 


	3. Spanish Spice

Hehehe~

I had a bit too much fun with this chapter.

I own nothing.

* * *

><p>Hola!~<p>

Look at your henchman. Back to mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine.

Sadly, your henchman isn't mine. But you gave your henchman tomatoes and started teaching him Spanish, he could act like mine. Look back down, where are you? You are in the giant tomato garden at my house, with the henchman your henchman could act like. Back at mine, what is it? It's the adorable blush that you have come to know and love~ Look again, the blush is now all over his face! How cute~~!

Anything's possible when you have Romano as your henchman! I'm on a giant tomato.

Fusosososososo~

* * *

><p>Hetalia manga:<p>

Use it to fan your friends, use it to add a nice flare to the room!

Use it to blow your nose! Use it...To BLOW YOUR MIND!

*is shot*


	4. American Spice

I really don't have a life if I keep making these for my aweseome reviewers, do I?

Own anything I do not. Talking Yoda I am.

* * *

><p>Hey, you guys!<p>

Look at your cities. Back to mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine!

Sadly, your cities aren't mine. But if you started opening open McDonald's all over the place, your cities could eat like mine! Look back down, where are you? You're in Time Square, with the cities your cities could eat like! Back at mine, what is it? It's a burger, with all your favorites on it! Look again, the burger has turned into a large milkshake! How cool!

Anything's possible when you're a hero, like me! I'm the hero!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

><p>Yeah...this is a fail Spice.<p> 


	5. Polish Spice

I'm really, really surprised that you haen't gotten bored of the same damn thing by now.

I own nothing.

* * *

><p>Hey~<p>

Like, look at your clothes. Now, back to mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine~

Sadly, like, your clothes aren't mine. But if you stopped shopping at those totally creepy Russian malls and started shopping with me, then your clothes could look like mine! Look down, where are you? You totally at my favorite mall, strutting the clothes your clothes could like, totally look like! Back to mine, what is it? It's a really cute pair of shoes that would so go with your jacket! Look again, the shoes have like, changed into Liet~!

Anything's possible when you shop with me. I'm on a pony~

Popopopopo-Poland!

* * *

><p>..No comment...<p> 


	6. Southern Italian Spice

Okay, I know I do this a lot, but I just wanted to thank you awesome reviewer people for just being the awesome selves that you are.

Seriously, you rock.

I own nothing.

* * *

><p>Ciao.<p>

Look at your lover. Now backt to mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine.

Sadly, your lover isn't mine. But if you stopped being a potato bastard and started eating tomatoes, your lover could act like mine. Look down, where are you? You're on the shores of Southern Italy, with the lover your lover could act like. Back to mine, what is it? Your lover is now hugging every last fucking breath out of your body. Look again, your lover is now Spanish.

Anything's possible when you eat tomatoes and don't give a damn about what others think. Spain locked me in this recording booth.

(Do I have to?...Fuck) F-fucking fusosososo...(God I feel like a fucking idiot)

* * *

><p>I love Romano~ I'm even the Romano at my table in school.<p> 


	7. Northern Italian Spice

I own nothing.

* * *

><p>Buon Giorno~<p>

Look at your artwork. Now back to mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine~

Veh~ Sadly, it isn't mine. But if you wanted to, you could start painting whatever comes to your mind and you would have artworks that kinda looked like mine! Look down, back up, where are you? You're in a really big museum with lots of artwork from all over Italy! Back to me, what is it? It's a bowl of fruit, just waiting for you to paint it! Look again, the bowl of fruit has turned into pasta!

Anything's possible when you learn how to paint and visit Italy! Veh~ I better get back to training before Germany gets mad at me~

Papapapapa PAAAASTAAAA

* * *

><p>Because you can't have the full 'Italian Spice' without the other half.<p> 


	8. Russian Spice

People have been pushing me to do this and I don't even know why I haven't done this one myself...UNTIL NOW~

I own nothing.

* * *

><p>Privyet, comrads~<p>

Look at your snow. Now back to mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine.

Sadly, it isn't mine. But if you became one with Mother Russia, then your snow could be as red as mine, da? Look down, back up, where are you? You're playing in knee deep, bright red snowm because that's what colour snow is in Mother Russia, da? Back to me, what is it? It's a bright yellow sunflower that's as big as your head! Look again, the sunflower is now a lead pipe, da?

Anything's possible when you become one with Mother Russia. I wish to crush everyone's faces into the hard sidewalk~

Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol~

* * *

><p>I got the shivers while writing this...Brr...<p> 


	9. English Spice

I'm bringing back the story that time forgot...MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *cough hack cough cough ugh~*

Ahem. Anyways, sorry for not making another chapter in a really long time. Things have been a bit hectic, but I'm glad that this story has gained as much publicity as it has.

I don't own anything except a sad excuse for an 'ask Romano' blog on tumblr. Feel free to follow me anytime, folks.

* * *

><p>'Ello, there.<p>

Look at your friend. Now back to mine. Now back at yours. Now back to mine.

Sadly, your friends aren't mine. But if you quit visiting that bloody frog all of the time and read more fairytales, your friends could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You, my good friend, are in front of the London Eye, with the fairies and flying mint bunnies your friends could be like. Look down again, what's that in your hands? I've got it. It's a freshly made scone, curtosy of yours truly. Back up, the scone has now turned into tea, chamomile, to be exact.

Anything is possible when you believe in black magic and ghosts. M-my cooking is delicious, damn it!

Bakabakabakabakabaka!

* * *

><p>I'm not sure if addictions to Enrique Iglesias, Portal 2, or Tumblr are good excuses for updating this story so late.<p> 


	10. German Spice

Alright, who's on my hit list this time?

Why don't you read and find out who it is before you realize that I don't own anything?

And for all of you who live on the east coast, I'm going to be going to Otakon this week on Saturday as Hungary, so if you wanna meet me, look for the Hungary with really pale skin and Prussian flag shoes.

* * *

><p>Guten Tag.<p>

Look at your soldiers. Now back to mine. Now back to yours. Now back at mine.

Sadly, your soldiers aren't mine. But if you stopped eating pasta when you're supposed to be training, your soldiers could train like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You are in front of Neuschwannstein Castle, with the soldiers your soldiers could train like. Look down again, what is that in your hands? I've got it. It's the helmet that I'm going to make you wear, since I get jumpy at every single thing that you do without it. Back up, the helmet has now changed into wurst.

Anything's possible when you don't slack off during training for once. Get back to training now, Italy!

I'm not humming. What good would ever come out of humming like an inbecile? (_B-but Germany!)_ Nein! I wil not make an idiot out of myself, Italy!

* * *

><p>Oh and MirrorsSurroundMe?<p>

Were your Table!Russia and Table!America really good friends? Also, did you throw food constatnly at your Table!Germany? Because I have a feeling that I may know you...That would be kinda cool if I did.


	11. Swedish Spice

Hey guys~ Not sure if you heard this, but I'm back now, bitches! XD

...

A-ahem. Yeah. I'm back. Let's get this show on the road!

* * *

><p>(When making this Spice chapter, we hired a translator for the guest. He's what he apparently said.)<p>

Hej.

Look at your wife. Now look at mine. Now back to yours. Now back to mine.

Sadly, your wife isn't mine. But if you stopped buying from those other furnitures stores and started shopping at IKEA, your wife could act like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You're in Stockholm, with the wife your wife could act like. Look down again, what's that in your hands. I've got it. It's kanelbulle, doesn't it smell nice? Back up, it's now been changed into a Domalis.

Don't make me use this on you, Sealand. I'm with m'wife.

...

* * *

><p>Yeah..this is a major fail...<p> 


	12. Hungarian Spice

God it's been forever since I last updated this stupid fanfic.

But yeah, I finally decided to get off my lazy ass and start making more of these.

Whoop-de-freaking-doo.

I own nothing except a betta fish named Gilbert. Hehe. Get it? 'Cause it's a fish. And fish have gills. Hehe. It's funny.

* * *

><p>Szia!<p>

Look at your frying pan. Now back to mine. Now back at yours. Now back at mine!

Sadly, your frying pan is not mine. But maybe if you cooked with it less and started smashing that damn Prussia's head instead, your frying pan could be like mine.

Look down, back up. Where are you? You're in Budapest, with the pan your pan could be like. Look down. What's that in your hand? I've got it! It's goulash soup! Smells yummy, igen? Look again! The goulash has turned into a pretty flower to put in your hair!

Anything's possible when you hit those who piss you off- PRUSSIA! GIVE BACK AUSTRIA'S HAPPY PLACE!

*whack* *pow* *smacky* *ohh that looked like it hurt a lot*

* * *

><p>...<p>

*dead*


End file.
